Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, when I was checked into the hospital, the nurse from the wound care center had to push me in a wheelchair through an outside maze of a construction zone walkway. Ironically, she shared that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like myself. I felt like I made a new friend in those ten minutes and she made me much more comfortable in getting to my destination.
As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor's office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.
I have not yet found a nurse who was willing to even be interviewed for such an article; more than a few have even exclaimed, "If anyone found out, I would lose my job!"
With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one anothers and each others needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.
Here are 12 tips chronically ill patients would like to give nurses:
[1] When you ask "Are you taking any medications?" and I hand you two pages with them listed, please don't look shocked or as if I am an addict.
[2] When you take a moment to ask me about how I am doing emotionally, not just physically, I feel like you really do care. In some ways this makes me more comfortable and even forthcoming about the physical symptoms when the doctor asks me questions later.
[3] When you celebrate my little successes with me, it can be the highlight of my day. You understand unlike most people how hard it can be to reach a goal weight on certain medications or what a struggle it can be to wean off a medication. I know you hear the stories of patients like me every day so I appreciate your enthusiasm for my little successes.
[4] Practically, I realize that you are not able to keep up to date on every medication that is out there on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the name of my drug three times, which happens to have an ad in all the best-selling magazines, I question how often you get out of the office.
[5] By simply telling me, "I don't know how you cope so well. I really admire your attitude and how you deal with this dease," I can float around for days.
[6] When you have asked, "Can I pray for you?" I'm very thankful for your offer. I know some of your patients may say no, but for many, it may be the first time someone has ever offered to pray for them.
[7] When there are times that I am having a medical procedure and my friends and family are not able to be there, having your hand to hold makes all the difference. I know many medical procedures may seem minor to you, but thank you for understanding that when it's happening to me, it's all major.
[8] I am what some call a "professional patient" so when I'm in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I'm used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know that you are human and must have rough days too. It is okay to tell me, "Today has been a crazy day." You are certainly allowed to be moody, but let me know why in simple terms so I don't take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I'm not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor's appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to work around my family's schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] When you go out of your way to do something like calling a prescription into the pharmacy so I don't have to wait when I get there, I realize that it is an extra step for you, and it doesn't go unnoticed. I appreciate it.
[12] When I'm in the hospital, I'm very grateful for the things you help me to do such as shower, change the sheets on the bed, or even just have a conversation to distract me from the pain. It makes a difference in my stay. Thanks for not treating me like a project, but a person.
Coping with a chronic illness is very difficult. Choosing the path of a nursing career is not easy either. When each graciously passes along encouragement to one another by saying "thank you" or "I so admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have a much more productive--sometimes even enjoyable--relationship.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held annually in Sept and featuring a 5-day virtual conference w/ 20 speakers. Follow II Week on Twitter for cool prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!
View this post on my blog: http://travelnursesuccess.com/12-things-nurses-may-not-know-about-the-chronically-ill
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