My job is on the line..I am a CNA at a nursing home and I have a resident that is refusing care.?

I have a resident who always forgets to plug they catheter so they will be dripping on they clothes. I will ask if they would like to go to the bath some I can help them replug they catheter and they REFUSE. This resident is VERY abuse to the staff and other residents. The family of the resident has stated if the family member (resident) does not want to change they clothes they don't have to, if they don't want to shower they don't have to. This is tying my hands together! The other day another staff made a remark about how my resident smelled and called the D.O.N and asked about ideas to get this resident in the shower and told another staff member that they were going to get the resident in the shower some how. The CNA that decided this idea doesn't work with this resident ever they are in my section. And the resident is a night shower and my shift was ending at 2pm and it was 1pm when she wanted to start this project but the resident's family was coming in at 3pm to shower the resident. I went into help her with lifting another resident into bed when she told me of her plan of getting this resident into the shower one way or another and I told that CNA I have been in the resident's room for 45 minutes just trying to get them into the bathroom and he has throwing object that me trying to hurt me. I told her that we weren't going to do thing and she told me that she called the D.O.N and got some ideas on how to get the resident into the shower and that we were going to do it. Mind you I still have 7 residents waiting to go to the bathroom. This CNA tried to get other staff members to help her with her idea to get this resident into the shower and they told her no and not to get involved because the resident is abusive. So what it came down to was me and the other staff member with the big ideas getting into a screaming match on the floor in front of staff members residents and residents family. I have until monday morning to choose between quiting or signing a final written warning and talking in front of all the CNA about what had happened, what we could of done differently. What should I do?? I love my job and I would never do anything against my resident's will.

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